Reverse Reserve

It takes a lot to be…
To be alone and take it all

You learnt not how to fall
But you did…and then you knew how
Looking back is all you do now

You learnt not what is right
You made a choice hoping you would rejoice
Of how you do….
Looking back is all you do now

Your dreams scaled an altitude
You dreamt not of solitude
Of that you are….
Looking back is all you do now

You felt the breeze brush by you
You learnt not the meaning of the hush
And that you know…
Looking back is all you do now

You parted; having paved your way
You feared not the cul-de-sac
Of where you are…
Looking back is all you do now

Your jury knows all but your fury
You learnt not the miscellany of a potpourri
And as (life) is…
Looking back is all you do now

Looking back is all you do now…
Time is not too late to take a vow
And as whom you are…
You deserve the lovely shower of a bow

U2 sing Do-re-mi

We Indians often wonder how English has been transformed into Hinglish of late. Is there a need for this thought? I mean… the British have their version of English & the Americans have theirs. And so do we. But we are so tuned trying to prove ourselves as exceptional English speaking creatures.
I have been listening to different songs since the past week. Suddenly started to hum the ‘Do-re-mi-fa-so-la-ti’ today though! The English version of the Indian ‘sa-re-ga-ma-pa-dha-ne’…so to say. I just realized we use the Hinglish version quite a lot, especially in the office setting.
The first one goes like this:
“Do- re”- as in you do it! ( Ah don’t worry about the pronunciation, We are Indians!!)
“Me - fa”- as in either me not at my desk OR Don’t get me into something new.
“So”- So what? I am the Boss.
“La- ti” as in get the Tea…I need a break. That’s the end!

Other way to interpret the consequences of not doing a right job:
“ Do”- as in do the job
“ re”- redo it!
“ Me”- Why Me? (Am I responsible for this shit?)
“Fa-so”- faso!! (Get stuck)
“La” – La Let me try… (A colleague helps you out)
“ Ti”- Both are helpless. A tea break again!

Such corporate tunes are so common. Trust me they sometimes sound better than the so called ‘Caller Tunes’. But most often are not. Coz it’s not just the sound, it’s the lyrics that matter too. You have no choice, but to listen to the corporate music sometime atleast.
And there are no base guitars & pianos at the office to strike the chord. All you have are Word, Excel or Powerpoints (WEeP- That is if you don’t know them well). Sorry, forgot to prefix MS! Like it’s some kinda degree…Masters in Excel, or Masters in Word (ironically jabberwockies of the office). If you’ve got a point it’s either got to be a POWER point, or its no point discussing. And the ‘Baap’ of all creepy creatures….the ‘SAP’… (The Saap) of the corporate scenario. You need to have a right snake charmer to get the ‘SAP’ in place. Oh yes…our identity of being a land of snake charmers is never lost. Coz we are always trying to tame it!! Irrespective of whether you hold this corporate MS tag or not, like they say…. ‘Saanp Dhas lega’, the ‘SAP’ has the power to kill…kill the morale & the motivation, just because you din’t tame it well. It bounces back on you…you never think that it can. The ERP is ideally Enterprise Resource planning…But I interpret it as ‘Employee Removal Program’. My interpretation atleast makes sure that the program is a continuous process in some nonsensical way! Afterall an organisation is a lifelong entity…..

I started with the corporate ‘do-re-mi’ & mentioned about the snake as well. Creepy creatures too!! Where am I???? In this corporate jungle called Ghansoli…where creatures show off their Allen Solly!! Looks like this rural piece of land was awaiting an urbane touch. This very piece of land is an implied runway (run-away) for many to take on flights away from the jungle. They are just waiting for the right connecting flight. And definitely Panvel’s new airport is gonna take time. Might as well use this run(a)way!

Seems like a complete package- a music to hear everyday, different creatures to meet, a party kinda gathering! But it isnt’ a happening place, although a lot seems to be happening there!

You are a pro

What an ace!
You probably don’t realize it. But you are already a pro at it. You may not be a sport, but your mind is. Your mind is customed to play it just right. It functions within the confines of the tennis court that you have created in your backyard.
You know there is room for improvement, but still you think your serve is a great one! How typical of your mind to do that. Your aim is to always put the ball in the other person’s court and that too with all the tact that you have ever learnt. You know the boundary, the limitations for the other person too. You can see the line there. But you are in a game…you try and place it as close as possible to the line, putting the opponent in a fix. Your mind is so focused on making the other person run. You literally dodge his mind. Especially when you realize it’s a doubles, you become more aggressive. Here you are anyway challenging the opponent. At the same time, you make sure both of them get bitter amongst themselves! After all the sweating and puffing the advantage or deuce decides your real victory. One tiny mistake can disadvantage and ditch you for God knows how many games to follow…

If you think this makes no sense to your daily life, think again. How often do you feel tempted to think what you are doing is the best. How often you want others to clean the mess that you leave behind… (Be honest)? You always think of the other as being your opponent of some weird kind. You know this opponent has limitations; he can’t go beyond a point. But you challenge his ability. You want him to feel defeated for not taking your bad serves. Are you a bad player or is he just too nice? When you know there is more than one stakeholder to your nonsense, you make sure you create a chaos there. Coz you want to win ultimately! Is this real life sportsmanship? You have tried all your best to put the other person down. You see him totally broken and lost. But that’s just your perception. One last, but smart move that he makes could turn tables and just put him to advantage! You would then prove yourself as the scapegoat to your own stupidities. But it hurts your ego the most.
Ace or no ace , you still are a champ. But your mind just takes time to get convinced about this.

Amore

I told you I loved you, but my words meant nothing to you then.
Now that I hate you, I don’t wanna waste my words for you…I still am.

Why is it that it takes time to realize that whatever happens is for a reason? I liked you coz I was blinded by the goodness of others words for you and the smartness of your looks. Little did I know that your companionship would give way so easily? Just a year and half ? You were a medium to reach out to my little world. I could speak through your heart and could listen to others thoughts just being so close to you.
Asking for anything more would have been a sin. Coz I had my best buddy, I had you all the time. At times, I would get scared that I would lose you someday, somehow. But then dint want to think about it further. It was all good ….
It was all going fine .When suddenly you broke my heart. You left me in the middle of nowhere. I was cut off from the rest, just coz you left me. I had stopped socializing for sometime just the new handicap that I was then. Till date, I am trying to figure out what made you do that. I felt so helpless, but I knew I had to find my way out.
You might have had your share of sadistic pleasures. But I am no less. If you thought you were the ultimate, and I have no choice but to brood…. am sorry to say, you are absolutely wrong. It was difficult making a new choice, but I had to trust my instincts too. To get back on track, I needed some support and I was lucky to find one soon.
This time around I was careful. I dint go by the looks coz often looks are deceptive. This guy is a complete package of intelligence and wit. He looks quite simple and sober, but is my kind with features to adore. No ho-hum and no hogwash kinda personality.
I wish to treasure him for ages and ages, if destiny permits. Just a sec…are you with me? Wake up; I am talking about my cell phone….the earlier that conked off for no reason and the new one that’s a basic piece!!

Either is good

It’s easy to laugh …
To laugh at others….
How difficult it gets when others laugh at you?

It’s difficult to cry…
To cry for others…
How easy it gets when others cry for you?

Making someone laugh after a cry is so difficult
But making someone cry after a laugh seems easy

Laughing when alone is no fun
But you cry when around you is no one

Neither is too easy though
There is always room for more

Either leaves you feeling light
Be it after a fight, or just a plight

Not knowing to laugh is a shame
Crying after a game is an excuse lame

Laughing is not about just hiding your fears
And crying is not about just shedding tears

Learn to cry…learn to laugh
Both undone equals life lived half!

Laugh, 'coz you can

Cry ....'coz you want to....

Remembering him

I exist. I am no symbol of magnanimity. I seem to belittle the law of nature “survival of the fittest”. I have been doing what I know best- putting people in a fix. It’s not that I want them to hang in there. I am just trying to test their patience. But when nothing seems to go right, people tend to blame me.

Be it in school, college or the corporate houses. People cant just live without chanting my name. I feel elated at times, but dejected most others. I have calendars, books and posters just dedicated to me. Like it’s some kind of honor. I think I shouldn’t be too modest here now….anyway. Mother Nature has not taught anybody to overlook the mistakes in any case. But people do and they say I was there. Like I am some kinda ghost.

Why? What have I done? It’s not my fault even when you just enter the loo and the door bell rings! And c’mon you are going to find a thing only in the last place you search. What’s so special about this fact? I don’t get it.
Did I tell you to drop the bread on the carpet with the buttered side below? Sorry my math is weak. I don’t know the equation between speed and the pull. My cousin (Newton’s child) knows better. Unfortunately we siblings never get along well. Like all siblings, we try and compete on superiority. The fight is still on!

My parents too never got along well. No wonder he called Mother Nature a bitch! He said mom had her own laws and rules of life, which he couldn’t accept. Chauvinism dawned upon him quite early in life. Nevertheless he realized it was his responsibility as a single parent to raise me. He managed to pass on his thoughts to me and I am glad the world sees him through me. Whether it is pain or pleasure, people remember us.
I am quite old now. But I hope to remain in people’s minds always (mind you…I can never stay in their hearts). I just want to let people know, that I mean no harm. I just remind them that if things can go wrong, they will.
My name is Law. I owe everything to this dude called Murphy who fathered me. I am Murphy’s Law…his baby!

Trying to understand...

I dream, I hope, I desire…
It’s what I call my attire
I fear it may fade away…
Given the modern chaos amidst satire
Every mundanely act creates an ire,
I need to understand what is good and what is dire,
Little things teach me to perspire
My thoughts sometimes camouflage what I aspire (to be)…


Life is a journey; not a destination. To enjoy the serenity in the end, we must open our eyes to the little realms of beauty en route. Every little creation is beauty personified. But beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder…
Then what really is ‘beautiful’?
I know a rose is a rose is a rose…
But meanings are always hidden behind the prose.
It’s always easy to determine the face value of an absolute value, but not other way round! Why is it so?

I don’t know.

Each day unfolds a new chapter in life, but I cannot forget the older chapters unlike in the history text…
A single quote, a line or a para tends to a summary with finesse,
A simple fact. X does not always tend to 1!
My chapters in life are lessons of wisdom;
Giving it a précis is no job of ease
The wise alone know how their troubles cease…

A definition is just the locus; the radius decides the circumference…
I decide how big a picture I want to see, what extent am I willing to go, and what the basis of my big picture is!
Just like the raw colors on canvas that yearn for the painter’s final touch…
I am the artist of my life;
Painting is then just an act…

If life isn’t a lesson, living certainly is!
Should learn to live every moment and cherish every second.
‘Coz time is precious, and so am I.
I may be anxious, I may be paranoid….
Situations - I cannot avoid; but certainly I get annoyed…
Is there life (with) inhibitions devoid?

Unlike Wordsworth and his Daffodils, my mood is neither vacant nor pensive,
Just a thought, I am expressive!….

sweep clean OR clean sweep?

It was another day to remember. As usual I was up by 7....n the usual coffee and online routine continued untill 10. Then had some work at the uni...so had a trip there as well. In the midst of finishing my work, I almost lost my wallet....but found it only to realise that the person was honest enuf to flick a note of 20, leaving the rest intact! I was a little sad about that, but just let go. Anyway, I was on a bigger balance-reduction mission aka shopping spree...all the way to Brisbane city....
Usually the train takes an hour to get there...but yesterday some minor showers ( which was termed as a storm by these aussies)got the traffic signals disrupted, an so we finally reached there after 2 hours:) Hoping to get some good Indian food at Govinda's, we just made it in the nick of time....else the very thought of grabbing burgers and Baguettes was disheartening. The shopping continued till almost 6pm...we didn't spare the big book store or the small souvenier store. Giordano, Polo, Ralp Lauren, Nike...are just a few of all names we came across. For a brand conscious person like me,all this was heaven. Just praying that I be allowed to carry so much luggage, I sinfully indulged in picking up random stuff. Afterall, I am leaving the country in the next two day's time!!
I knew that my bank balance was almost nil, but had to continue EFTPOSing...as we generally do. But to save any kind of embarrasment, something told me that I must check my balance....and eventually was not surprised to see the no. 13!!...yes all I had was just $13.95...hehe. I was just too keen on sweeping clean my account balance. The lease amount that I am going to recieve today....definitely motivates me to go and shop again....but yeah, I m not giving you the impression that Iam a careless shopaholic!
Shopping , shopping and shopping.....more than actually buying stuff, its the window shoping that makes the difference. Coz now, when Iam looking at the things I have bought, I dont see a great deal of useful things....but as long as I feel happy doing it, its alrite (I guess)!

Secret santa's already here..

We call ourselves ' Crooked angels'. yes ..our nameplate..( just a post-it) and a picture of an angel beside it describes the tenacity of our crookedness and the capacity of angel-ism we have,crazy!!!!. Yes. crazy roomies in their own world.
One day, as I was just heading out, was almost near the elevator when my neighbor strutting out of it, gives me a wierd look. The next second, she gives me this friendly smile and gets me talking about the ' nameplate'. haha...
I couldn't really make out if she was drunk or something, coz she kept asking me again n again..."oh, did u put this angel here? Its nice....." " But then why did u put it"...." ah, I see...Angels live here".." But why crooked angels".....I tried answering a few, but then realised it was pointless. Maybe she was just on a high, so I excused myself on the pretext of having made my friends wait long enough for me. I registered this scene as a funny one, and always think about it, when I walk toward my door.
Recently, we realised that somebody had tampered with the so called pic of the angel. we didn't bother much.since it was just dangling there, we took it off. And just a couple of days back, we have this cute little scented 'angelic Koala' hung on our door knob!! My first guess was my neigbor. But then, me and my roomie kept thinking for a while and assumed it to be one of our friends. We didn't want to ask anyone, hoping that the benefactor would be humble enough to let us know. No clues yet!
For some reason, the scent reminds of 'Odomas- the mosquito repellant' back home. It gives a funny kinda snoozy tingling feeling to my head and so I decided to just seat it inside my shoe-rack. Noooooooo....I dont mean to be rude!! But cant really help it . So, I just wanna thank whoever it was, for that cute little thing! It was a very sweet gesture. We are happy to know that there are angels around us too:)

Mathematics of hospitality

"Hello, Howa ya?" Followed by a sweet smile across her cute dimpled cheeks. In one instance, I knew she recognised me. The level of familiarity made me feel welcomed, as if I had graced their cordial invitation for dinner.It wasn't just becoz I had dined there occasionally. I noticed her serving each and every guest the same way.That's true hospitality in my sense of understanding. How often are people able to do that?Juggling with so many orders and checking on each table is not an easy job, that too without loosing one's cool.

She reminded me of my days at work earlier...where I was doing the same thing, but in a much bigger resort. Hospitality wasn't my industry ; I did the job coz it earned me a living. I was excited getting the job one always dreamt about as a student here, thanks to a friend' referal. I knew nothin about the job, I was trained from scratch. Inhibitons, apprehensions, perceptions and all possible synonyms could well summarise my whole expereince there.
Learning to clean tables and clearing plates was my first lesson! was there a need to learn that anyway? During the first week,I began to think if this is what I had dreamt for....Weeks passed.

Time for Xmas....seasonally considered good for the industry. My best time at work. Name a shift, and one was bound to get work then. It was so busy. Doing 700 covers an evening was normal. Ask me about it! Orders being taken at an amazing pace, an equally quick sprint to the bar...getting the cocktails n mocktails ready. Oh yes....my dear chefs...always waiting to pounce on the one writing unclear or wrong order codes!! Starting at 5....till about 9 pm, the restaurant would be like a house of maniacs running around.

While most orders were getting done, children needed to be treated like angels although some were messy monsters. Putting up a smiling face with some to pick up every piece of junk they spilt, giving them colors and drawings to let them express their creative best and being the most patient when they kept crying ..was only a part of my job. While the kids had their share of fun, the elders were no less. Some were there to relax and make merry. While some didn't let go their usual crib-factor! "oh..the food is bad..call the supervisor", "this isnt' fine...Iam unhappy"....blah blah. At that point, it was all a 'blah-blah' for me...coz how the hell was I supposed to make sure if the rice was cooked well? But I cudn't say...oh..its not my fault, its the chef....:)

Funny things would happen on the bussiest of days...wrong orders to wrong tables, breaking of plates, the drinks spilling on the guests and the list goes on. Despite all this, the perfect smile was to be worn all the time! and how could I forget, the supervisor spying at me from the corner of the big room if I was doing my job right! It was like living under a microscope.I wasnt really great at it...I remember how I would wait for the guests to go, or for the clock to turn 8.30, so that it was a little peaceful. But my supervisors and seniors would compliment me for my hardwork and thank me! I would forget all other bad things, just realising that I was indeed doing a good job.n then it was time for a long nite...before the dawn for the big breakkie again!!

Tonite's dinner and the girl's smile was just a multiplication of my experiences, an addition to her grace, a subtraction of all nuisance and a division of expressions! Although she wasnt in a mess as bad as I was, I appreciate her hardwork....coz it is a difficult job!

Another leaning tower

This is architecture at its best! This is a bldg. in Mumbai where the residents live with the fear of this structure crippling down any minute. They have nowhere to go leaving their possession of a mere 375 sq. ft. The builders are ready to locate them elsewhere, only if they pay the current market price. How ruthless?
Mumbai is definitely reaching for the sky , towering structures being one of the signs of aiming high. But, this picture and the story caught my eye forcing me to think...if this kind of fraudulent construction continues, Mumbai will have quite a lot of 'Leaning Towers'.

on compliments and workouts!

"omg!! you have put on weight"...this is a straightforward indication for you to work on the flab!
"hmm....you look plump, but not fat"....is a milder way of saying..." Get going before u bloat!"

..."you look like a diamond"....This was the wierdest comment I heard....ofcourse about myself. I didn't know if it was really a compliment....coz I did think my face was glowing n I felt nice abt myself. But that was a cheeky way to actually make me realise that I infact resembled a diamond perched on its edge....a nice squarish one!! I know....the explanation to the comment was as strange as the comment itself.
Ok...I was a diamond. Now what? Was my ego hurt and was I on a mission to mirror a drumstick? Naah..
Or was I really doing that? I remember I joined the gym within a week of that (compliment)comin my way. I gave up eating cheese....my fav. Following the conventional dieter's diet was my unconventional step indeed. I got back into a fit n fine sculpture and was delighted. I felt happy about myself, became active and was a better person. All thanks to the 'Diamond'- A woman's best friend.
But my fetish for chocolates n sweets did gradually take away the shine off me. Blame it on my inconsistent workouts and consistent cravings. This time around, I did not have my 'fitness- watchdog' to get me back on track. Luckily, the feel-good factor of the past motivated me to join the gym again!! Wait a sec....why am I talking about going to the gym, like its been a fad? I think I fancy it more than anything. Thanks to 'diamonds' like me, the gyms' financial condition can never go bad.'Benevolence in abundance' has been my mission inadvertantly. My instructors at gym think, the program given to me is too strenuous or something -the reason I bunk quite often. Little do they know of my persistent laziness to slog it out! But, knowing how much I know of it...its high time, I work towards it!