Lived! ...(Life)...will live!

Ten things that prove I don't live in the present...

1. On a friday evening, I am the happiest thinking about what I would do on saturday. On saturday, I am saddened by the thought of monday following that one sunday. In effect, I don't live my friday evening....I live half my saturday..and sunday just goes by.
2. I brought myself a mango bar...while relishing it, halfway through I was disheartened that it's almost getting over. That means..I enjoyed eating it for only half of the time.
3. While driving back from the factory, my only aim was to see as minimum traffic as possible and I could see my home....I just wanted to reach back.I had started planning what to do after getting home, what to eat, whom to call up etc. Did I even try to enjoy the drive?
4. When I look back at my photographs of Australia, I get completely lost in the past. I hope and dream of getting there again in future. All my memories....I keep revising. Present?
5. I dont enjoy my company at current workplace, but fortunately I got some good work to do. I keep comparing this to my earlier one...where I had good friends but the work sucked! what for now?
6. Friends....I have many, fought with a few...in touch with the rest. But 'school times were the best'....I keep going back in time. The same friends from school...some I despise , some I treasure. I spend time wondering...'How this happened'...
7. I am eating a sandwich from the street. Similar to the one I had during college times. Probably tastier! I go back to college canteen...and the ganna juice near the station...> wishing to get back to college soon again. Oh..but did I enjoy studying then? How come now?
8. My blogs...I have started thinking that my writing was better a few years back. Then why am I writing now? I still love what I write....but somehow am not convinced. Too Much...
9. How sincere at workout I was ( although for a short time). How fit I intend to be. But what do I plan to do about it now? No clue....just waiting for some kick!
10. Finally, what I did just now writing the above 9 points.....

Does it happen to you too?

Henna of hope

As the henna leaves the cone,as  the intricate design that then beautifully adorns her palms, all she does is hope for a life as beautiful as that art. Little curls and curves that merge and seperate from each other..somewhere is a hope for a life with subtle tides. As patterns fill her palms, she begins to cherish not just that moment, but every moment till that one..Something in her is so joyful, so lively, so womanly, so childish. Yet, she waits to see the pattern finish. Moreover, although she knows its beautiful; she longs for the greens to show as a different shade of love, the shades of her expression for him. Her love is genuine, feelings pure; yet there is hope for it to turn darker and deeper. She wants the world to know its her day; that she celebrates the begining of a new life with her beloved. Her friends around, chirping and giggling...echoes of hope for all. Somewhere there is a bond, a common thread of hope in all. The fragrance tickles the mind to think of that someone special; whether he exists or not. They are there to celebrate her life, again with a desire to live-her-day as soon as possible. 

I write this for my friend, for her joyful life ahead, for her pursuit of love, an above all for the hope in the rest of the clan.

Bull....!

Iam tired… tired of pretending
Pretending that I listen
Listen to others
Others whom I like
Like doesn’t mean love
Love, a phenomenon I hate
Hate to lie
Lie about myself
Myself that I don’t know
Know what to speak
Speak my heart
Heart full of emotions
Emotions touch others
Others don’t understand
Understand life
Life is a game
Game I play
Play and get tired
Tired writing
Writing bullshit
Bullshit that you just read!

Vodka with Lime please...

We have friends, and then we have friends…
We have managers, and then we have managers…
We have MBAs, and then we have MBAs....
We have books, and then we have books...
We have diamonds, and then we have diamonds...

This list of 'and then's can go on and on. Why is that we take for granted that what is, is just short of something? Are we so keen on digging gold always? That we don’t dig a grave remains my only fear! These tags we have given ourselves and our acquaintances just prove the basics of human tendency. I definitely would not acknowledge all my friends as my best pals .well, everybody is opinionated. Who is to tell if I have tagged erroneously? My instincts guide me to judge what is, but they do not teach me to distinguish between.

We often crave for a dash of lime on our Vodka, when we know that a simple plain shot of vodka can give a high!! Quite often we get our spirits wrong. Don't we? A 'Malibu with pineapple juice' tastes only as good as ‘bourbon with coke'. This is universal taste. Have we really experimented the other way round? Rarely do our perceptions dare to walk out of the claustrophobic confines of the mind.

A Misnomer is also a name. But we hate to shed the 'name'. Slowly but steadily we get accustomed to being referred to as a misnomer. We don’t realize that we are Infact acknowledging the giver that we do not mind being called so. Probably we put it off as a mark of affection showered by the giver. The same, if a stranger were to call us, we get furious. What are we getting angry at? We ofcourse liked the ‘misnomer’, didn’t we? This only proves the human tendency of restricted affection and inhibited spark of love, often bound by historic perceptions of the ego and convoluted thoughts of the mind. Much like the aspirations of the conjoint twins…

We never know if what we say would hurt somebody. We also never know if somebody loves us, unless s/he tells us. Words- we blame them so easily. The lack of it or otherwise. We do not blame our thoughts as we don’t realize that thoughts drive the words, and words drive the action. However pure our thoughts be or however clear our intensions be, there is a vacuum that exists between words and perceptions. Perceptions touch the chords of emotion, either positively or otherwise. The trick lies in channelising our thoughts in such a way that the vacuum is avoided.

We never admit, but we are infact very complicated. It could be our self or the effect of the dormant energy in our surroundings on us. All we do is crave for everything that is good, everything that is pleasant, and anything that adds a zing to our mundane life. Be it in the choice of friendship, the act of love, the feel of freedom or even in the fierceness of our anger.
Our drink seems to be ‘life-with-a-dash-of-zest’.
Cheers!!

Leisure in class five

Mrs. Sen made the entire yellow house participants recite ‘Leisure’… way back when I was in class five. Her aim was to get somebody from the yellow house to win the annual recitation competition…dint make an inch of difference to me, coz I was in green!
But those 2 lines that were literally hammered into our eardrums still resonate with a similar effect… “What is this life with so full of care, we have no time to stand and stare…”
Natalia recited well. But Siddharth got the prize. Neither really understood the poem or rather they were too young to fit it into the grey scale of their cerebella.
We had all the time in the world to finish our homework, play with our friends and fight with our foes. Yet we managed to wake up fresh the next morning to get ready for the Wednesday drill. The aloo parathas for lunch were just mama’s way of saying….take care, study well through the day and be a good student. We didn’t bother about our hairdos or uniform. All we knew was ‘mama would fix it all’. Papa was perfect with his crisp ironed shirts and polished shoes. So I expected him to do mine as well. Afterall … ‘like father…like daughter’.

2 minutes of the “Jana-Gana- Mana” felt like an hour while 15 mins of the short break was always less. Anil sir’s punishment was always the best…we were almost always challenged to move around the school with tags of being donkeys!! And princi had his ways to mend us. Thick skinned buffaloes we were…..proud and happy when punished during the assembly. East to west was always ‘east-toto- westo’ for our highly accented south Indian geography teacher. Ranvir was always ‘Run-beer’ as Mrs Sen used to call him. What fun!
‘Chaklee’ - meant to be a snack, for us it was some kind of a spiral sling. Hurling it at our angry Ganeshans (aka strict biggies of the school) was just another pass-time. Hops n bats, hopscotch, hide n seek, lock n key, land n water, London statue, catch n cook were some of the games we played. Unit test, terminals and open-house day formed a complete torture-triangle. Even half a mark was a matter to pass or fail! “How could Anisha score more? I’ll beat her next time”….
We fooled around but studied when it was required. My birthday-your birthday- birthday parties-gifts & return gifts, teacher’s day & parent’s day were most thought of. And most awaited holidays for Rakhi, Dahi-handi, and Diwali & Christmas…
Picnics and outings, annual days and sports day were altogether different events towards the end… “Esselworld or national park this time?”…
Gleeful we were and little did we care….
What is this life with so full of care……

U2 sing Do-re-mi

We Indians often wonder how English has been transformed into Hinglish of late. Is there a need for this thought? I mean… the British have their version of English & the Americans have theirs. And so do we. But we are so tuned trying to prove ourselves as exceptional English speaking creatures.
I have been listening to different songs since the past week. Suddenly started to hum the ‘Do-re-mi-fa-so-la-ti’ today though! The English version of the Indian ‘sa-re-ga-ma-pa-dha-ne’…so to say. I just realized we use the Hinglish version quite a lot, especially in the office setting.
The first one goes like this:
“Do- re”- as in you do it! ( Ah don’t worry about the pronunciation, We are Indians!!)
“Me - fa”- as in either me not at my desk OR Don’t get me into something new.
“So”- So what? I am the Boss.
“La- ti” as in get the Tea…I need a break. That’s the end!

Other way to interpret the consequences of not doing a right job:
“ Do”- as in do the job
“ re”- redo it!
“ Me”- Why Me? (Am I responsible for this shit?)
“Fa-so”- faso!! (Get stuck)
“La” – La Let me try… (A colleague helps you out)
“ Ti”- Both are helpless. A tea break again!

Such corporate tunes are so common. Trust me they sometimes sound better than the so called ‘Caller Tunes’. But most often are not. Coz it’s not just the sound, it’s the lyrics that matter too. You have no choice, but to listen to the corporate music sometime atleast.
And there are no base guitars & pianos at the office to strike the chord. All you have are Word, Excel or Powerpoints (WEeP- That is if you don’t know them well). Sorry, forgot to prefix MS! Like it’s some kinda degree…Masters in Excel, or Masters in Word (ironically jabberwockies of the office). If you’ve got a point it’s either got to be a POWER point, or its no point discussing. And the ‘Baap’ of all creepy creatures….the ‘SAP’… (The Saap) of the corporate scenario. You need to have a right snake charmer to get the ‘SAP’ in place. Oh yes…our identity of being a land of snake charmers is never lost. Coz we are always trying to tame it!! Irrespective of whether you hold this corporate MS tag or not, like they say…. ‘Saanp Dhas lega’, the ‘SAP’ has the power to kill…kill the morale & the motivation, just because you din’t tame it well. It bounces back on you…you never think that it can. The ERP is ideally Enterprise Resource planning…But I interpret it as ‘Employee Removal Program’. My interpretation atleast makes sure that the program is a continuous process in some nonsensical way! Afterall an organisation is a lifelong entity…..

I started with the corporate ‘do-re-mi’ & mentioned about the snake as well. Creepy creatures too!! Where am I???? In this corporate jungle called Ghansoli…where creatures show off their Allen Solly!! Looks like this rural piece of land was awaiting an urbane touch. This very piece of land is an implied runway (run-away) for many to take on flights away from the jungle. They are just waiting for the right connecting flight. And definitely Panvel’s new airport is gonna take time. Might as well use this run(a)way!

Seems like a complete package- a music to hear everyday, different creatures to meet, a party kinda gathering! But it isnt’ a happening place, although a lot seems to be happening there!

You are a pro

What an ace!
You probably don’t realize it. But you are already a pro at it. You may not be a sport, but your mind is. Your mind is customed to play it just right. It functions within the confines of the tennis court that you have created in your backyard.
You know there is room for improvement, but still you think your serve is a great one! How typical of your mind to do that. Your aim is to always put the ball in the other person’s court and that too with all the tact that you have ever learnt. You know the boundary, the limitations for the other person too. You can see the line there. But you are in a game…you try and place it as close as possible to the line, putting the opponent in a fix. Your mind is so focused on making the other person run. You literally dodge his mind. Especially when you realize it’s a doubles, you become more aggressive. Here you are anyway challenging the opponent. At the same time, you make sure both of them get bitter amongst themselves! After all the sweating and puffing the advantage or deuce decides your real victory. One tiny mistake can disadvantage and ditch you for God knows how many games to follow…

If you think this makes no sense to your daily life, think again. How often do you feel tempted to think what you are doing is the best. How often you want others to clean the mess that you leave behind… (Be honest)? You always think of the other as being your opponent of some weird kind. You know this opponent has limitations; he can’t go beyond a point. But you challenge his ability. You want him to feel defeated for not taking your bad serves. Are you a bad player or is he just too nice? When you know there is more than one stakeholder to your nonsense, you make sure you create a chaos there. Coz you want to win ultimately! Is this real life sportsmanship? You have tried all your best to put the other person down. You see him totally broken and lost. But that’s just your perception. One last, but smart move that he makes could turn tables and just put him to advantage! You would then prove yourself as the scapegoat to your own stupidities. But it hurts your ego the most.
Ace or no ace , you still are a champ. But your mind just takes time to get convinced about this.