5 years and 10 hours

The first time that I have landed at an international destination. Like a fool...i have my connecting flight in next 1 hour...and I know I have a long way to walk. Yes dear...its Sydney International airport. I don't even know where I am ...I just know...I am in the right direction.I am happy..Iam tensed...all mixed emotions in me.

I have walked for 35 minutes now....am now getting into a bus to reach the domestic terminal. It all feels so fresh and nice...I am excited, two of my friends are coming to the airport to pick me up. After a lovely 10 minute drive..( yes, everything seems lovely), I arrive where I am to depart again from.But it's already late...I should be boarding now. But I'm just in the queue for checking in!!! Holy..."shit, I don't have money to buy new tickets, I am missing my flight...my parents will shoot me for missing my flight......oh shit.." I think I should just leave my bags in the queue and just beg and plead the lady to let me go..... I do that. And she says.." we'l put you in the next flight which is at half past". I again ask..." Am I supposed to pay anything extra..???"...."NO".....Ahhh...what a relief.

I'm hungry...and tired and sleepy. The sight of that clumsy vegan burger on Quantas and the thought that it was just 3 hours that I slept on flight and this stupid air hostess...one old lady..just had to wake me up..for another stupid boring tasteless breaky...All fresh in my mind. Making me more hungry..

Anyway, I am just waiting to board the flight. I smell fresh coffee...

Like the smartest of asses in the world...I have not bothered to keep change. All I have is a $50 note plus a few 100's! and I remember my brother having told me to keep change. So to avoid any kind of belittlement as I suppose, I will stay quiet and sacrifice that one cuppa coffee too.

Alright, I am boarding now. I know its a half an hour flight..Should I even expect a snack. Its been 10 minutes on..and I got nothing. I just have an apple from the previous flight..which I am not going to eat..( I have just had a dental treatment 2 days before I left India...do you expect me to ruin it by biting into that fruit directly...no way...Dental treatments are shit expensive abroad)

yipee..I have landed at Brisbane domestic airport...my friends are waiting helplessly..( aware that I had missed the flight, but obvious)..

But being the sweetest people that I knew them as...They are taking me to my new home. On way..I am promised of a chicken biryani dinner at 'Chutney Mary's.....

Well...I see the city...and its already an hour long drive...> finally I reach home. These guys are helping me get the luggage in..while Roshni is just waiting for me to get home so that she could leave for work. A sweet Mallu rommie..but I already have thoughts like...should I trust her to be nice?

Roshni says.." Prema, there's some chicken curry of last nite ...you can eat it for dinner if you want to. I will be back after 10 pm..I have the keys"...

ok..bye roshni....

"Alright Prema...your dinner is done...you must be tired. It's friday Night...we have a party...so we gotta go. Call us if you need anything..else we'l see you in the morning"...

I have no choice ..but to say.." ok guys..thank you so much.."

The new apartment...all silent and dark by 7 pm...its Winter...its cold. I don't know whether to watch the TV...or to call up any friends and talk to them...

Knowing nothing..being in a new place...left all alone ( although for just 8 hours more)...I feel like I have left everything to settle for this loneliness. I know nothing...nobody...and thats it...'tears are rolling down. I am crying so that I feel better...and then will feel so sleepy and retire....

Every single scene is so fresh in my mind. This happened Exactly 5 years and some 10 hours back....The attire that I was in...the lectures that I had been advised ( by friends and folks), thoughts of my first day at Uni..my meeting of new people..new friends...my orientation trip to Couran cove island...

My experience of living in Australia...of having met some of the best people...I can never forget!

Saale residency ke jhanjhat ne vaat laga di .....

You missed it!

where have you been...

you missed out on the good old times...

you were never there...when you were meant to be

cold vibes and attitude...mutually exchanged...

now when you see their pictures, smiles and streaks...

you know you missed it big time!

you wanted to be there...but never felt alike

some indifference...mattered more than just happy times together

and today when that guy says he will miss them all....you know how much he means

where were you? what kept you away?

you never hated them...you never loved them..

they were there..and you were too

usually silence spoke well for you guys..

a couple of them lost their lives...you were there then!!! why?

heart in heart...you knew you missed it all...

Now on...shed that layer of inhibition for God's sake..

just be with them when they need you around..

you never know...one of them may wither away suddenly...

don't want you to miss it again!!!

someone has taught you today...good times just don't happen..

you make it happen..!

( This is for one of my very special friends ...who I am sure will understand more than these lines...)

Kolkata

Kolkata in words..

1 - Shit
2- Not great
3-Smells like fish
4- Nothing but mishti's good
5- Yellow bugs and green ricks
6-Trams and tempo, all in abundance
7- I haven't seen the complete city yet!
8- Sweltering heat, no fun; prestige, power,money speak!
9- Some people told me it was bad, I believe
10- I swear, I will not visit kolkata any sooner, hopefully...

My first ever visit to the east of my country.....was directly to Netaji's land......formerly DumDum arpt....haha....really!! To me first impressions are almost long lasting ones. Kol....except for the wonderful hospitality and sweet delicacies, I must admit...I didn't like you much! You are famous as the city for the 'call'... some part of the city...the new town is debelapiing, your kaalture is something to learn about....Baat...sofaar...amake bhalo naa.

Self composed Gyaan: Not ready for implementation!!

The difference between successful people and others:

successful people are less optimistic about pessimism, while others are pessimistic about optimism.

why others do not succeed?

The time and energy focussed on finding reasons for not having done a thing, is far more than that put in to work in order to achieve the results.

What to successful people do?

Follow that time-and-tested methods need not always stand the test of time every-time.

And when you listen to the wise...

Words of wisdom, are actually words from the wise-dumb!! Nothing really matters except your own experience and intuition.

Glimpses come alive..

(Play my fav while you read on...)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yHGmkvOr7u8&feature=related

Some music I listen to

some memories I revive

Traveling back and forth in time

without spending a dime...

Good times and bad ones

Hearty laughs and secret chuckles

Friends and folks in picture

Life becomes a miniature...

coffee and conversations

Dreams discussed and hopes achieved

and life turns

while the past burns...

Dance and dim lights

energy never fades

To say, its a mocktail

life becomes a cocktail...

Kites and colours

Festivities for all

A little friendship nurtured

celebrations all cultured...

Of silent times and bubbly voices

choice is a freedom

our mind needs both

confusion ..never a dearth

Traveling back and forth in time

without spending a dime...

Ad(d)s for a reason..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FB7Gi9y3FMI

Sehwag...(for that matter) a Cricketer needed to promote Hockey???

To me it looks more like an appeal to people..."Please come and watch this (not -so-hot) National sport".

Hero Honda...no doubt is doing its bit to keep the sport in limelight.

But with IPLs and 20-20's becoming the dish of the day....some chef ( Govt.) has to really churn a good hot combo for Hockey too. Why isn't that even being thought of?

Honda may get its sales up by few more lacs...Viru's got some crores or lacs for this ad....what more??Its all about money baby!!.....( Remember the Idea cellular ad for the cause of 26/11?) Marketing in the name of social/national cause...or mere awareness.

Can't help being cynical....unable to differentiate the genuineness of intentions behind some of these ads!!

Jai Marathi or Jai Maharshtra?

Now, only Marathi with foreign guests

Express News Service

Posted: Jan 23, 2010 at 0323 hrs IST

http://www.expressindia.com/latest-news/Now--only-Marathi-with-foreign-guests/570802/

I am a Maharashtrian...domicile!! Do I need to prove my linguistic skills after living in this state for more than 15 years? You are not asking me to...but your other stated plans and direction makes me think so.

Agreed, every city and every state has its distinct culture and history. Definitely the junta needs to know that. But instead of spending time, money and effort at promoting the richness in culture...merely stressing on the fact that we need people to speak Marathi will not suffice.

Why should people speak in Marathi?

I mean...if we are so culturally rich and have hoards of history to cherish, it should make us all ' want to speak' in Marathi. Mumbai, and Maharashtra is unlike most other states. We are the financial capital of our country...we are the business hub. We are so accommodating in nature...we have even accomodated Ajmal Kasab, and seem to laud that even he comprehends and responds in Marathi. Sigh! Be it music, arts, sports or anything - we have the best of folks in every field. When I say folks...they may or may not be 'Marathi speaking'.

Then why? What is the dire need for stressing on Marathi? If it has to happen..it will happen naturally. Are we on some mission to reflect on our identity crisis ( that is if we are facing one, apparently)? Or is it that we don't want to embrace and accept the fact..that we are shallow?

You expect the whole world to know Marathi? I mean...Man you are saying this literally. Go France, people have started accepting English unlike before. The Japanese and Chinese are learning English because its the language of the world. And now..I can't imagine foreigners having Marathi interpretors!!! Are your indirectly saying....Marathi folks need different kind of a job. But since they cannot or rather do not want to learn anything new, or translate any other foreign language....Translating Marathi is THE option left!! Are you hinting that?

I am just trying to look at it from so many angles...and yet fail to understand your rationale.

I love Bombay, yeah...I still call it Bombay..any problem? I will always love this city..and also hate it for the varied list of nuisance factors.

But end of the day, I think I am a Maharashtrian. Can you prove it otherwise?

P.S: Purely my opinion!! Coz, its my opinion, my post!

'Must-not-use' words

Some words I failed to understand the meaning of. Even Google couldn’t get me a good- enough-explanation.

9 words that seem to jack your mind…

1. Compatibility - Capability of existing or performing in harmonious or congenial combination
2. Insecurity - the anxiety you experience when you feel vulnerable
3. Anxiety - a vague unpleasant emotion that is experienced in anticipation of some (usually ill-defined) misfortune
4. Apprehensive - mentally upset over possible misfortune or danger etc
5. Thought- The act or process of thinking; cogitation.
6. Feeling- An affective state of consciousness, such as that resulting from emotions, sentiments, or desires:
7. Possessiveness- Having or manifesting a desire to control or dominate another, especially in order to limit that person's relationships with others:
8. Uneasy - lacking a sense of security or affording no ease or reassurance
9. Reaction- a response indicating a person's feelings or emotional attitude

In sequence, compatibility rules. If you cant even think of possibly being friends with a stranger….its the end! Play UNO….skip….

Between compatibility and uneasiness…the remaining words seem to creep in.

Let’s get this statement…..

“I thought you felt bad. But I don’t think you should think too much. I kinda feel anxious and insecure. But I am not possessive either. And I continue to feel uneasy. Maybe it’s just my apprehensions! But I don’t want you to react”.

Now with the help of the googed out meanings….I try to make sense of the above line…

“I can’t stop thinking ...irrespective of what you tell me. Same may be your case. But I also think …that you feel in a certain way….and I won’t know what you actually feel until you tell me. The Moment you tell me what’s on your mind…I become anxious, uneasy and insecure. Hold it….But I’m not thinking so…I am just feeling so. Since you have no control over what I feel….you should not react coz I just expressed my feelings. And fundamentally, to me... you reacting means….you thinking something opposite to what I am thinking.”

A new game begins…play the Blame, join the hall of fame!

*

*

*

The end of it. I still didn't understand anything!

The words still remain and will continue to exist for ages…

People fond of these will continue using them...and confuse zillions that they come across!

(P.S: No offense to anybody. I mean it!)

My Fav SUVs...!

Audi...

Cayenne...

CRV

BMW...

Dicor...

Fortuner...

My Rashee didn't warn me...

Yes. Here I am , again writing a review for a movie that I watched. And it's so natural....I just write on the sad one's...I mean the CRAP category.

In my opinion, movies can be classified into following categories:

1. Those you enjoy watching and feel there is something good about it..
2. Those you know for sure are flops, but you wanna put your curiosity at rest...and so...
3. Those you are not sure of, but think there will be something good about it...moderate hopes.

And as far as my experience goes, my review on movies really depends on the rows where I get seats...infact inversely proportional. Too front....sad movies. Middle rows...average. Top Rows...hmm...wow..!

For eg: Front rows: Delhi 6, Salaam Namaste, Wats your rashee,

Middle Rows: Firaaq, Fanaa, Kabhi Alvida....

Top Rows: Jaane Tu ya jaane na, chak de, Page 3, DDLJ, Kal ho na ho, Ab tak chappan...and so on.

Rashee....Phew..!! sometimes I regret my trait of being adamt. My friend literally warned me.....prema don't....!! And he also knew...I usually doze by 10:00pm latest...I crash. Wonder how I made up my mind to survive the ordeal.....

On a reasonably less harsh side, I thought few songs were nice. Priyanka ofcourse looked great...inspired me a bit to start gymming again! and Harman bhai...must say..you dance well. But why did Gowariker uncle want traces of Love story 2050 in Rashee? And what were you thinking...when you attempted that dance with the 'Tula' Rashee wali priyanka...some alien, sci-fi kinda character dancing??! Seems...you want people to really remember you for your 'Love Story 2050'.

And I did laugh and smile in between. Thanks to the Gujju elements in the movie...their love for food, the craze for share market and all kinds of money games...and the love for creating a debt trap!! ( No offense to any gujrati person here).

And what else...( actually thinking hard...to find out what was good about it) . The Climax was too good...Harman marries the Priyanka named 'sanjana'...who is the Just- in-time bahu to be...of which even he is taken by surprise. So even after meeting all 12 Rashees...he coudn't figure out 'who' she was? Maybe...Gowariker uncle wanted to put it as " Rashee or no Rashee....you are destined to meet somebody good. then what's the point of Rashee & Kundali Matching...when you yourself wont attach much importance to it in day-to day living! and ho.....that's when ,in the movie...the entire family screams ' what's your Rashee?'....( as if we were waiting to know it).

Do you remember this?

I read one of these recently....infact I had almost forgotten champak!!

I just hd been refering to 'champak' for the 'duffers' I came across in my routine ...

I can't tell you how happy I felt reading one. The stories seemed so funny, the cheeku-meeku stories and the butterfly gossips...haha. I couldn't stop laughing....was i really enjoying this as a kid? Well..I must tell you....its worth every minute of reading...its fun people!! out of curiosity...just googled a few lines on this legend called champak which is as follows....

Champak is a children’s fortnightly magazine named after a tropical flower. It has been on the scene from 1968 being published by Delhi Press Group. Today Champak is available in eight languages – Hindi, English, Gujarati, Marathi, Kannada, Tamil, Telegu and Malayalam. Its founder is Vishwa Nath (1917-2002).

Champak consists of modern stories for children with a moral tone. It does not try to smuggle in adult folk tales as stuff for children. Champak continues to remain a household name and a hot favourite for seniors of today who were green fans of Champak yesterday.

...If you have lived your childhood on the Indian soil....you have read this too!

If not, You missed something yaar...not something intellectual, but it was something 'for us'.

Somebody get him !

Ummmmuaahhhh...

Can't help it....I just love pugs....! I definitely know I am not allowed to get one home now..!

Lived! ...(Life)...will live!

Ten things that prove I don't live in the present...

1. On a friday evening, I am the happiest thinking about what I would do on saturday. On saturday, I am saddened by the thought of monday following that one sunday. In effect, I don't live my friday evening....I live half my saturday..and sunday just goes by.
2. I brought myself a mango bar...while relishing it, halfway through I was disheartened that it's almost getting over. That means..I enjoyed eating it for only half of the time.
3. While driving back from the factory, my only aim was to see as minimum traffic as possible and I could see my home....I just wanted to reach back.I had started planning what to do after getting home, what to eat, whom to call up etc. Did I even try to enjoy the drive?
4. When I look back at my photographs of Australia, I get completely lost in the past. I hope and dream of getting there again in future. All my memories....I keep revising. Present?
5. I dont enjoy my company at current workplace, but fortunately I got some good work to do. I keep comparing this to my earlier one...where I had good friends but the work sucked! what for now?
6. Friends....I have many, fought with a few...in touch with the rest. But 'school times were the best'....I keep going back in time. The same friends from school...some I despise , some I treasure. I spend time wondering...'How this happened'...
7. I am eating a sandwich from the street. Similar to the one I had during college times. Probably tastier! I go back to college canteen...and the ganna juice near the station...> wishing to get back to college soon again. Oh..but did I enjoy studying then? How come now?
8. My blogs...I have started thinking that my writing was better a few years back. Then why am I writing now? I still love what I write....but somehow am not convinced. Too Much...
9. How sincere at workout I was ( although for a short time). How fit I intend to be. But what do I plan to do about it now? No clue....just waiting for some kick!
10. Finally, what I did just now writing the above 9 points.....

Does it happen to you too?

Political Ganesha

yeah...Mumbai's favourite lord , is gonna go swim today. After 10 days of being pampered with loads of Modak and other sweets, finally he decides to go shed some weight! Tommorow onwards, he'll be the usual 'Tuesday special vignaharta'. Much like any issue which becomes a ' breaking news'...and then is a 'broken wing'...

This time around I realised lord Ganesh was asked to gain some more weight.

I was never a big fan of visiting pandals and being the 'darshan lena' types. of whatever I observed, this time the pandals were built in such a way that tresspassers by could not just take a glimpse of the lord. It came with a price ...of standing in queue, and making your way right upto the murti. Pandals which were being built differently all these years, did defer this time.That's where I say, Ganesha had gained some more weight!

Or was it the politicians secretly conveying their wild wish to him? More than the Lord himself, politicians loved to take centre stage.That's always the case. Huge posters, banners and signs with a SMALL pic of the lord beside the huge pic of the political lord of our city! Are we really celebrating lord ganesha?Every corner with a huge Ganesh pandal belongs to...or rather is 'sponsored by' some great guy. Good social work....aha! In my opinion...visarjan should then include them also!

A super cynic; I still haven't learnt to differenciate between a good politician and a not so good one. Anything new for the public..is just 'a meherbani on us' and not 'for us'. The best example is the roads....its just made- partly concrete, vastly pot-holed ( cratered)...with a huge ' sorry for inconvenience' board....> forget it...can't express my love for them here...!!

If only it was their love for the lord and their spirituality that was at display...

Some of my friends thought that the decoration and the changed pandal format was done right as ' aisehi fukat mein kya ganpati dehkneka, andar jaake dekhneka na'....'rastey se kya zaankna'....and all that.To me, the best ganesh murti...is and always will be the one at my fav temple. No dramatics involved! Atleast his door is open to all...

Would love to treasure sentiments of all...but can't do that. Afterall, I love my opinions....

You

Hues on canvas

Mystic mountain blues

Alone she wanders

Her thoughts round a friend

He was so dear, he was so near

A petty reason is the fear

For her feeble ties

Never an emotion dry

A smile to cheer

A thought to ponder

He was a light

Never a thought of him to fade

Nature nurtures…

All believe so

Her faith in the unknown

Over the years has grown

To his friendship a salute

To his spirit an ode

To his generosity a tribute

To his laughter a smile

Miss you dear friend!

Holly meets Bolly

There are hindi movies...and then there are hindi movies.

But there are just hollywood movies!! Hasn't this been the trend?

I had always heard of east imitating "the west". But to my surprise the latest flick Bride wars was just short of a hindi aka bollywood masala. Just that the latka-jhatkas and dinchaak music was missing. Anne Hath... and Kate Hud... being the best of friends become the best of rivals and then patch up again.

The plot goes...

In Manhattan, the lawyer Liv and the school teacher Emma have been best friends since their childhood. They both are proposed to by their boyfriends on the same day and they plan their wedding parties in Plaza Hotel, using the services of the famous Marion St. Claire. However, due to Marion's secretary's mistake, their weddings are scheduled for the same day. None of them agrees to change the date and they become enemies, trying to sabotage the wedding party of the rival.And then Anne doesn't marry the one who proposed to her...but her best friend's brother!! And the beauty of all coincidences is that the two friends are expecting their first child...and that too on the same date!!

Usually I would fret about having watched a mediocre movie, but still be happy about having seen one.Confusion queen.. This time around I had absolutely no issues. Probably it was my first movie after a 3 month break...( not a voluntary one, but a forced one due to multiplex strikes!!) My fav word has been " timepass"...but now I realised I have been passing this title even to the movies...Too bad!!

But this was a "sachi mein super flop" movie , people. I don't lie..and never about movie reviews..I think like common people and not directors way. So to me , most of the movies are bullshit...music is sometimes good and Scope of improvement is always big. Sometimes I wonder..If I really should step in as the script writer/ the director/ or the costume designer. Never a penny for becoming a producer though...alas!

After watching Bride wars...I remembered my friend who got married just a week ago. Now we have been like sisters, almost best friends. Imagining myself fighting with her over wedding dates....fun!! yeah..she did get her 'June wedding' finally...

Anyway...I hope to not see any more such almost- bollywood type of English Movies.

Kanjus to the Kore

Why are we so stingy when it comes to saying the three golden words?? Hello....I don't mean " I love you"....but yeah you could take that also into the context, maybe....?! However I meant " Sorry, Please and Thankyou".

Thinking back, I remember my principal at school giving us daily morn- gyaan ..his words of wisdom, I say so. Back then it seemed like a drab...just another ritual before entering the main foyer of the school.  Saying a " please may I enter the class" seemed like a never ending line...whereas we loved using " can I come in teacher?"...(Ofcourse we could)

Now there are so many avenues to let these thankyou's and sorries out. But our Khandani- kanjusi pulls us away from doing so. How many times do we travel by a bus or a rick or  a cab? Do we thank them anyway..? Of late I have started practising this; I do come across wierd expressions at times. It doesn't take much effort, but uttering it without any regard is no great thing. Just think of how good you feel when somebody genuinely thanks you. Wouldn't you love to try the same for others?

We do love our retail therapies, with so many customer-service-executives to our help at any store. At times they get us our items to us, they help us pack the stuff, they make suggestions ( not exactly for our good), but do we care to thank them?

The compilation of these words is a page from the 'courtesy dictionary' as I call it. Not being courteous is a big offence only to a few. The rest are blissfully least bothered to even attempt being courteous.wow!

Coming to 'a billion dollar smile'..( Now that's worth a lot), we are so selective. We want to smile only at the persons we know...or rather the ones we like. The rest are a NO. And even if we do, by mistake, its so not our real smile. I travel by this one particular bus daily, its now my-permanent- mode-of -travel. I do see the same faces everyday...and yes I have a few ' smile buddies'. We haven't exchanged any words...but just a nod of acquaintance with a simple smile...now that's something genuine we have got habituated to. 

At work, most of us greet each other with a ' good morning' and a 'morning smile'. Few love to carry their homely baggage of frustrations or some luggage of inhibition. Forget the smile, a few love to 'just not look at you in the face'. These are few great ones too...

Anyway, lets try giving up our kanjusi for sometime. It fun! 

P:S:: My friends who expect me to give up my kanjusi...as in make sure I treat them soon...[ now that's something you need to wait and watch for...:)]

Racist blokes!

Well...I just logged into my blogger to think of something pleasant to write after a long gap. Just then, the new channels told me of the racist attacks in Melbourne on 4 or 5 Indian students. Immediately Went to the flashback mode....

I spent some quality time in that country definitely. But I too witnessed racism in tiny bits. Be it a bus driver or the Pizza Store at times....'unki satak jaati thi'. Well...all they would do was talk rudely..rude as per Aussie standards. Just because we got used to seeing the politeness and courtesy in abundance there, we could understand that  difference when it happened to us....We meaning my 'Indian Toli'...quite like many other such 'tolis'. But we were no less....ofcourse we didn't have the guts to chance a racist quarrel on our Visa. We loved our traditional ' Maa- ben' gaalis and uttered right there...to the one seeming to offend us. Ahh...what mental satisfaction...!!!

All that those ten-in -hundred racist blokes could do was say ' sorry??' Definitely that was never a statement of apology. It was always the question on their faces.."What did you just say?"

I remeber one incident during the so- called Schoolies season...some bastards managed to throw  a nice big bag of water on me..while they were speeding their way to Southport and I was at the bus stop. I went blank for a moment; I must say I was lucky enough to not get hurt badly...infact I was perfectly fine then. But thanks to those drunk fellas, I never took the bus back from work. It was always the Cabbie; a 10$ fatka every day!! That was much better than risking my life...

I remember friends of my roomie telling me they were robbed once ...things were missing from their place. But the cops loved to put it off and didn't take it up at all. Unfortunately the same guys were robbed again on a different street next time...one of their laptops being snatched!! But again, the cops were just being ' Lazy Aussie'. The guys gave up taking the case further till sometime i guess...

There was another incident where some bloke kinda threw something sharp on the large 'french window' a my place . Something started shuddering and it all crumbled in few minutes. That was one scary day. Luckily my gang was home for some dinner -n- desert. So they helped us out. We thoght it was just the glass...bu my tenth sense tells me..it was somebody who flung something onto our window. Afterall we were on the first floor with a large balcony!

Coming back to today's incident at Melbourne, I think the Aussie Cops better set things right. Warna the day is not far when the Indians will start fighting back in defense! 

Saaley....@#$$&  &*)()*)(  @(&##^#........( Thats all for now. More abuses later!)

What the eFFF is wrong with blogger..My posts are going invisible?!!